The Year of We

Huy 0:00

This year. I was intentional 2024 was going to be the year of we. That's a triple entendre. That's the year of we, my name's we. It's the year of the French, yes, and it's also the year of and this is kind of where it gets back to our conversation about the year of we W-E, which everybody thinks is how you spell my name, but it's the year of, like connecting with people all over the world.

Julian 0:26

Hello and welcome to the PyBytes podcast, where we talk about Python career and mindset. We're your hosts. I'm Julian.

Bob 0:33

Sequeira, and I am Bob Beldables. If you're looking to improve your Python, your career and learn the mindset for success, this is the podcast for you. Let's get started.

Julian 0:46

Hey everyone, welcome back to the PyBytes podcast. This is Julian. I'm here with an extra special guest this week. This is one of my best friends, who I've been dying to have on the podcast. This Huy. Huy, Welcome to the podcast. Why don't you do a quick, quick, quick introduction?

Huy 1:00

Julian, it's a pleasure. I've heard all about this podcast. First time listener, first time guest. Quick introduction you and I met at AWS about three years ago. I don't want to know if that timestamps this podcast for you, but we've been long friends. Both departed, uh, we have spent time together in vietnam while I took a, a year-long micro retirement. I don't know what they call it these days, um, but slacking off, slacking off, uh, hey, I think, I think, uh, I'll take that if that's. Uh, if what I did was slacking off, I think everybody should slack off a little bit more, I agree I agree, and thank you for letting me slack off with you.

Julian 1:45

It was.

Huy 1:45

It was a great week that could be the name of the next podcast oh yeah, slacking off with we win that's our new podcast episode, uh, or series.

Julian 1:57

I like it, um. So, look, everyone listening. As, as we mentioned, you know, we have been friends for a few years now. We met at AWS and one of the things and this is the reason I've invited Huy here other than his moderately good looks I've invited him because, over the years, relatively speaking, one of the things I've noticed with Huy over the years is that he's an amazing communicator. So and that was the role, you know, when he was, when we worked together, he did a lot of communication work but, um, more importantly, he's just fantastic at connecting with people and, as you all know, as a loyal podcast listeners who've listened to every episode, unlike my guest today um, you will know that you know, when it comes to development and success in your careers, communication and connecting with people, networking, is such a valuable skill to have, and so I've really wanted to dive in with Huy.

Julian 2:58

We were actually thinking about recording this episode last year when we were in Vietnam, but we both just switched off completely and got into. We slacked off, we slacked off. I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning, kind of thing. So here we are finally, almost a year later actually recording this episode. So let's dive in. This is going to be a bit of fun because Huy and I get along. This is going to be the equivalent of me and Bob recording Huy because it's just going to be casual, relaxed, nothing formal about this, and it's optional. Yeah, that's right, and it might be a little crude. No, I'm joking, but we haven't rehearsed or taken any notes or prepared for this in any way, so be prepared everyone. It's just super who knows what's going to happen.

Huy 3:51

A typical slack off with Julian and Huy. We need to keep throwing.

Julian 3:54

I'm going to keep on throwing titles out there until something sticks on the wall. I think we need to get a little jingle that plays every time you do it. Okay, anyway, so Huy here's the first thought to get you get the ball rolling right, okay again, what I've noticed hasn't been just cascading down the hill already it's like an avalanche at the moment.

Huy 4:12

That's right, it's nothing good so we have talked for years.

Julian 4:17

Now and again, I've noticed the way you communicate with people, the way that you find a way to connect with people. So, first and foremost, can you give me your insight into the importance of communicating, connecting with people, networking. Why is that such a big deal for you? Why is that a big part of your life?

Meeting We Win

Huy 4:37

I don't know if I would frame it as, like communicating with people or connecting. I see you do it too and I will say I I'm honored or at least, uh, humbled by, by your calling out because you are someone who I have witnessed also gift of gab. Whatever you want to call it, it's not communicating, it's truly is connecting, and I do differentiate the two. Um communications can be a one-way street man, but I think with connection, you're not only being able to communicate what you're trying to say and vice versa, but I think you're able to also, like, get deeper with that person, like when you get true connection with somebody, um, and and being able to establish that or a rapport, if whatever you want to call it, uh, right off the bat, that's, uh, it's been something that I I have, uh, I don know prided myself on, but it definitely is something I've focused on in the people that I do come across with on a daily basis, and so why so?

Julian 5:33

repeat your question. No, so thank you for the differentiation between communication and connection. I really appreciate that because, you're right, communication can be one way you can just talk at someone or do them. They're still technically communicating, right, okay. So why is this? Why has this been so important for you? And maybe this is a great segue to share. And the thing that triggered me with this is during your year off last year, do you want to define what last year was for you, 2024? And then it was just filled with connection, man, but oh you, you take it from here yeah, honestly.

Huy 6:11

Yeah, you, you, you probably jumped the shark a little bit, but that, that is the, the lesson that I took away from that year. Um, my modus operandi whenever I quit a job is usually it's like when am I going to have this kind of unadulterated time to myself? Okay, let's worry about getting a job, sure. Usually it's like when am I going to have this kind of unadulterated time to myself? Okay, let's worry about getting a job, sure, but let's, let's, let's, let's use this freedom of time. I I don't know where I learned it as a child, but I knew this growing up as an adult just like take some time to travel. So I knew travel would give me perspective. It would open me up to different cultures and experiences. I've always valued travel, so anytime I was in between jobs, I would take some time off to travel.

Huy 6:49

This year, in 2024, I had been extremely intentional about taking the entire year off. Before it was kind of like however long I could afford or however long it took me to find a next gig, and then I would put the travel on hold and come back, go work. This year I was intentional 2024 was going to be the year of we. That's a triple entendre. That's the year of we, my name's Huy. It's the year of the French, yes, and it's also the year of and this is kind of where it gets back to our conversation about the year of Huy, W- E, which everybody thinks is how you spell my name, but it's a year of, like, connecting with people all over the over the world. And so I did travel.

Huy 7:37

But I think in this, this, this 2024 year of We, I decided to make it more about, okay, I'm open to travel. This year, I put out like an all, a bat signal to all my friends all around the world and just said hey, I'm going to uh, uh, I have this time off. What do you? What's going on in your life? I got invited to a wedding in Greece. I got invited to uh uh anniversary on Ireland, invited to an anniversary out in Ireland. I got invited to meeting a newborn baby, a friend of mine, out in Pittsburgh when I did an East Coast road trip.

Huy 8:17

It was intentional, like the bat signal was intentional, but at the same time, I didn't realize how important that would be to the entire year. And connecting, reconnecting with, with my community Um, I think that's. I know that that is a pen like. There's an endemic problem in the world today about disconnection, and so I think, more so than my entire life I've always been big on building community my entire life, but I've never seen it so starkly bankrupt as it is right now as far as not having connection in our world, and so I knew that I would travel, but something I wanted to be extremely intentional about is making sure that I did build my community up before I started looking for my next chapter of whatever job or life that I do next, before I started looking for my next chapter of whatever job or life that I do next.

Connection vs Communication

Julian 9:06

So this is really cool and I was really grateful to be part of that here. You know, you put the feelers out there. You said can't make it to Sydney, mike, but if you can make it up to Vietnam we'll hang out. So I went right. You said yes. You said we.

Bob 9:22

I said we.

Julian 9:23

Okay, let's end the podcast on a high right there, that's it.

Huy 9:27

That's your high I haven't listened to other podcasts.

Julian 9:32

Okay, so okay. Now, what I want to? I'd like to make these lessons actionable and relative to people. Right, so you quit the job at AWS in 2023, at the end of 2023. That's right. You then decided intentionally I'm taking the full year of 2024 to just connect with people, travel the world, see the world, be with people, experience life, everything right, because you're not getting any younger, right, that's for and those are, those are all part and parcel, part and parcel connected to each other yeah, exactly right.

Julian 10:08

So here's the question for me that I want to relate to everyone out there who's listening to even you can travel, right, but to travel with people and have people, maybe you can travel with people, but you traveled and wherever you went, you had this community, you had people to meet with. You had people to chat with, people who'd come out, drive three hours, fly halfway across Asia Pacific to come and hang out with you this guy over here, to get to that point where you have community wherever you would travel. How did you build that? That's not something that happens overnight, that's something that's built over years, right? So how did you do that?

Huy 10:52

I mean other than my unmistakable charm. Uh, I think that's I. I grew up as an extrovert, I don't know if it's, but I think it would be um, it would be too quick to judge if you just said, oh, we use an extrovert. No, no wonder he has this big community. And I don't think that's the case.

Huy 11:09

It's like I've lived in Seattle for 16 years trying to build up my community here, but at the same time I mean, if we're going to get deep here, I've felt a sense. I've felt that disconnection and that sense of loneliness that I think is endemic around the entire world right now. And so it's like, okay, extrovert, introvert, doesn't equal community. I think you have to be intentional about maintaining your connections, and so I think, to answer your question, like, how do I do it? I think the alternative of not doing first of all is gets me off the couch. That's what that's first of all. I think in many cases it's really easy to even for myself to just sit in, sit at home, scroll, scroll the streaming services, and then you know, and then rinse, wash, repeat. But I think, if we're really honest with ourselves and I think this is true for introverts and extroverts alike everybody I talk to, we do need a sense of community.

Huy 12:06

Now, people might need different levels of, different amounts and different amount of time with their community, but it's it's. It's the more reading, the more podcasts you listen to, the more you realize that, like, having community is truly the secret sauce to longevity in life. And and those they study, the blue zones, they study areas that have a ton of like happiness, uh, for fulfilled people in a community, it's because they're in a community that they feel like they belong in, and so I think that's kind of where I start. I start it's like okay, and I think when they talk about the, the taboo word of diversity, equity, inclusion I think more so these days, and even when it was, uh, it was a, it was a hot topic, uh, in in a good sense, and I hope it continues to be at some point. Um, that belonging, like the, the d and I there's a as well, but there's B and the B is what a belonging is, what really really kind of centered, my intention. It's like okay, when I meet up with somebody doesn't even when or when I text somebody, like when I reach out I think that's the first step.

Huy 13:19

You were asked for some, some some of the tips or actionable things I might do. I would say just reach out and make it low hanging fruit for for you and the tips or actionable things I might do. I would say just reach out and make it low-hanging fruit for you and the other person. It's like if you are feeling disconnected, then the inverse would be to connect. So find somebody that you just miss, reach out to them and it could be as low-hanging fruit as hey, I was just thinking about you.

Bob 13:46

I hope you're doing well, yeah, I agree.

Huy 13:50

So that's the first part that's called. I call that showing up. Now, just show up, you know, you don't have to know what to do, what you need to do or say. But I think connection requires first reaching out. You have to, and you can't just sit around waiting for others to reach out to you, uh, and then when you show up, this it's, it's a two-step phase and that's it.

Huy 14:11

This is really the secret sauce. You show up, then you, you become curious and curious about their life, curious about, you know, like what, what they're doing, curious about what, what, what they're feeling these days, and maybe they feel disconnected as well, or just finding some common humanity to connect on. And it doesn't have to be long and drawn out, doesn't have to be, uh, for a long period of time, it doesn't have to be forever, you know. It doesn't have to be to build up a relationship or repair an old relationship, it's really just to make sure that those connections you know those, those, those, those I don't know what's the technical term, julian, like that that they're, that they're.

Huy 14:48

The soldering network is still cut. The channel, I don't know yeah, I don't know what a motherboard looks like. I'm not technical enough to know how to put together a motherboard, but I've seen it done and I would just imagine just making sure those connections still work.

Julian 15:07

Yeah, you don't want that link to degrade, right.

Huy 15:11

And when I say you don't, some links are worth, you know, those that don't serve you anymore. Definitely, uh aren't where you should direct your priority, but I think uh, the ones that you you miss, the ones that you think about, um, that's, that's really cool, I I like.

Julian 15:27

So there's two pillars right show up and and be curious. I think those are really important. People should tattoo those on their arms or heads or something, because I think there's a lot of fear around doing that, because I think a lot of people feel this fear and this feeling that they're going to annoy someone by reaching out to them or no one's interested in hearing from me, right? Or why would I do that? I think one of the questions straight away is why would I do that? And you answered that right. Well, it gives you a sense of belonging, which you need as humans. We need a sense of community, and it just builds that kind of feeling of I belong somewhere, people actually do value me, I'm needed, I'm appreciated and and so on and so forth. These feelings that they keep you going and keep your energy up. So show up and be curious. Those are really really cool I like those.

Huy 16:28

I, I, I do resonate. It does resonate to me where it's like I don't want to annoy the other person. I, I, I get. I've had that feeling. You know, I know what that is, but I haven't.

The Power of Community

Huy 16:37

I don't know, what you're talking about. Well, that's because you have no shame. But I think, through a lot of, a lot of like therapy, to be honest, and a lot of self-worth, you realize that. Why the answer to your question why do I want to do this? Why do I want to put myself out there? And it's just because connection is self-care, like. So it's like.

Huy 17:04

It's like how do you change, okay, how do you change your, your, your, your perspective on the whole idea of being needy or being selfish and this is a lot of work that I've done too it's like selfish in itself is not a bad thing. You can see it as self-care. I think that's, on the self nuanced. But it's like, maybe the answer to why should I do this is maybe because I want to or I need to, and that's, if not, perfectly good enough, that's perfectly good because doing, doing stuff that your body needs or that you're, you're, you're you need or you want to do, it's not hedonistic necessarily, or or self-serving, it's uh, self-caring you know, oh, I like that connection is self-care, that's.

Julian 17:48

There's a t-shirt for us to market now oh, we got tattoos and t-shirts. You got a whole merch uh, program this, this whole episode is just paying dividends already. Um so well, I want to. I want to flip that as well, my speaker fee speaker fee.

Julian 18:06

I pay you in in in love. So the thing, the thing I think very topical at the moment, the thing I want to I want to um, add on to that is that, yes, there is that essence of self-care, but people actually appreciate it as well. You're actually enriching other people's lives as well. Because, if you think about it, how many times have you and maybe don't answer this with regards to me, but how many times have you and maybe don't answer this with regards to me but how many times have you received a text message and gone, oh, that's nice, I'd say you know, and you, just you were pre and it's not. I'm talking. I'm not talking about the dopamine hit of having your notification go off on your phone, but just to receive a text message that someone's saying hello and just letting you know that they thought of you. People like to be thought of, people like to be needed and we all have this sense of purpose that comes from being needed, whether it's in your job, with your family, your friends, whatever. It is right.

Julian 19:06

So what I love to do if something happens, this is an actionable point for you listening. This is a point to write something down. If I'm going through my day and something reminds me of someone. Let's say you know, I don't know. I see something that was, let's say, take you, for example right A shared we had had in Vietnam, If I see. The other day I saw drip Vietnamese coffee was called. What's the name of it? Cafe fiend, that's it. And we I told you about this with a ph the fiend with a ph exactly so you're gonna have to go google that if you haven't.

Julian 19:45

Um, maybe another b-roll this is a chance for b-roll of cafe fiend, yeah, yeah, being shown on screens if you're watching this on YouTube. So this special coffee that we took me to have last year, I randomly saw it in the shops over here and I just I immediately thought of him and so I took I didn't take a picture, but I took out my phone and I texted him and I said look, cafe Fien, this is the stuff we had last year, right, and that little connection piece adds to this overall picture of you thinking of other people and people appreciating that. Now, I don't know whether you appreciated it or not, but don't answer that. But when people send me messages going, hey man, I just thought of you because I went to the opera house and I remember we went there a few weeks ago. How are you doing? I appreciate that kind of stuff. So don't fall into that trap of thinking people don't want to hear from you, because people like to be thought of.

Julian 20:46

And if you send a message saying, hey man, it's been a couple of years, I just thought of you randomly because someone mentioned to the company we used to work at together. How are you doing? I hope you're well. How are the kids? How's the family? What are you doing? These days, people love to receive messages like that, you know, and if they don't reply, big whoop. You sent the message anyway. You made the effort, so that's right. You let them know that you thought of them.

Huy 21:11

I mean I don't even, and the two of us I mean cause I do pride myself in in being someone who stays connected with folks and I know you do as well, and you do a great job of it. I mean you, you've taken it to the next level by leaving recorded voice messages, and so I really appreciate those. I I've never thought of doing them and I probably kind of loathe doing them on my own, but I do appreciate it when you send them.

Huy 21:38

Mainly, just because it's like you know, stream of consciousness for me Like maybe you'd enjoy that, maybe not, I don't know.

Julian 21:45

I'd enjoy it from you, yeah.

Huy 21:48

Oh, ok, well see, you have, you have. You have expressed a need.

Julian 21:59

Now it's my turn to see if I have listened and hear you a very unsubtle recorded hint.

Huy 22:04

So okay, so you know what, the one, one thing that you do. Well, though, when you send those messages, or when you send me memes, whatever, like the way you connect with me, uh, you, you, you never ask like how's it going? Or and I'm not saying that you should, I'm just saying I thought of you. That's all you need to know. I appreciate, like, I appreciate you, yep, and that's. That's as low hanging fruit as it gets. Now, if you are curious about how they're doing, sure, uh, reach out, let's schedule a call. Let's, uh, let's, let's, let's chat. Let's do a weekly one on one, like you and I do.

Julian 22:35

Yeah exactly, I love it. I've received over the past week three Instagram reels sent to me from people that individuals haven't spoken to a little while, but they had to do with Python and they were ridiculous things to do with Python, you know, and one hasn't made it into my algorithm yet.

Huy 22:53

Exactly Because of you, though, I get a lot of Bogan.

Julian 22:59

Australian stuff Australian references, that's right. Yeah, exactly, you're welcome. You're welcome for that. It's very enriching, culturally enriching.

Huy 23:05

For the Americans out there, Bogan is the equivalent of what Redneck.

Julian 23:10

Yes, the equivalent of redneck, exactly, is that a?

Huy 23:14

derogatory term. Can we say redneck?

Julian 23:16

I don't know. You tell me you live over there. I don't. Okay, let's move on. So you've had this year, you connected, you built this network over the years, just showing interest and thinking of people and all these people you would have met, I imagine, over your career, of many different jobs and things. Right, yeah, yeah, okay. So you're over there, you're in these different countries, you're doing different things. You met a bunch of new people. Now, one of the biggest fears that I think a lot of people have is meeting new people and having to go through what some would consider the chore of getting to know someone new. So how do you engage that situation? Because you did lots of things where you were the only person you knew going into that tour or that group or that experience. So what do you do in that situation? How can you help people in approach those situations?

Huy 24:16

I mean, I'll admit I'm even a little trepidatious when I get into new groups because I'm one, even though I enjoy connecting with people. I'm one of those people that kind of needs to suss out the situation before I approach someone, just so I kind of know how to approach them and, you know, read their body language. I think what I've learned this past year, which I haven't done in my past travels, is do more group activities, have a shared, shared sense of of of activities. That that's always an immediate icebreaker. Um, I think one of the things that really helps me out in in in meeting folks is just the idea of entering it. It's almost like when you it's something I read maybe it was Dale Carnegie, maybe it wasn't but it's like enter the room Like everybody is your friend, like everybody likes you, so you come and go and you have to go in with that assumption and just faking that actually makes it happen, even if you know I think that that has been one of the greatest uh tips that I've.

Huy 25:23

I've in in cases where that fails me too, it's like okay, everybody's my friend, great, I don't want to talk to all my friends all the time.

Show Up and Be Curious

Huy 25:30

Maybe I'm in a party that you know these friends are okay, but they're not the best, I think, knowing that we are currently in a pandemic, an endemic, if you will um, I forgot the difference, so please don't test me on it.

Huy 25:43

Uh, but there is such a lack of connectivity in this world that it's like you have to assume the other person's suffering from a disconnection as well at some level, and so really, it's a matter of trying to say OK, I'm here to help, I'm here to be helpful. Everybody likes to be helpful and in many people's cases especially people who have a hard time doing this, it's all it's inherent that they're probably suffering from some disconnection, and knowing that that is a secret sauce to longevity, it's like why would you not want to help yourself if not help somebody else out? I'm going to reach out. It doesn't have to be like overly, it doesn't have to be small talk, but it could just be hey, I, I'm new here and I just, you know people love to help other people. So it's like hey, make yourself somebody that can be helped drowning in tutorials, finish the bootcamp but still feel stuck.

Bob 26:37

Ai makes coding look easy, but turning knowledge into real world skills is the real challenge that's where pie bites coaching comes in.

Julian 26:45

With one-to-one mentorship, we help you focus on what matters, build real projects and achieve real results. Land a dev job, launch a freelance gig or build your own SaaS.

Bob 26:57

But it all starts with a free goals call where we look at your unique situation and provide you with solutions For more info unique situation and provide you with solutions.

Julian 27:10

For more info, check out iBites. I like that, just that line of hey, I'm new here in any kind of group setting, whether it be a new job, taking on a new hobby, going on an experience, like on a, let's say, a boat and a cruise or something. If you do want to connect with people and just saying, hey, I'm new here, like what do you know? I think that that's a great icebreaker and it's a great way to get people to consider you and include you as well, right? So then they'd be like, oh, that person was new, let's bring them with us and and show them how it works, you know.

Huy 27:42

So I think that's that how it works, you know. So I think that's that's a great tip as well. Um, it goes into that second pillar of being curious, right, and so, yeah, showing up, being in the group, being amongst other human beings, uh, communing with other folks, that's the showing up part. But then be curious. It's like be curious, if not about the other person, about what you're doing or what you're seeing, that's, or be curious for your own sake. I think that's that's that it still falls true, and that's.

Julian 28:10

I don't don't quote me on who said this, but you know, bob and I often yeah we're gonna have to do a whole fact check on this entire, this whole episode.

Huy 28:20

Yeah, this episode was like.

Julian 28:21

I heard this somewhere but bob, yeah, bob and I often and we say this in regular listeners will know I've said this before but to be interesting, if you want to be interesting, be interested in the other person and that's my tip for conversations and being able to maintain a conversation. And silence is OK. Right, you don't have. Silence becomes awkward when you make it awkward by looking uncomfortable.

Julian 28:48

Be comfortable in the silence and just being in the presence of someone else, it is easier said than done, you're right. But then the way to break that silence and not have it be awkward is to just have genuine curiosity. Right, as you said, you know be curious about people. So that means listening to them when they speak, absorbing what they're saying and then, once they're done, take all that information you've got and ask a question based on it. Why did you get into baseball, you know? Why do you have a giant plant behind you? Huy, that's taller than you, you, you know it's different things. Right, you could ask any question on the planet. Right, you can even change it to netflix, ask about a tv show, whatever it is right, and you just go from there and it just becomes a snowballing experience.

Huy 29:37

Um, but be genuine about it too. I think small talk is when you're truly not interested in what you're curious, what you're proposing to be curious about. I I think it's like be genuinely curious. And if and I would, I would argue if you're not curious about a person, either move on or dig a little deeper. You know that's true. If you're not a curious person, I challenge you to become one, because I think that makes that'll make your life a lot more vibrant, a lot more rich and a lot more full.

Julian 30:09

Yeah, you're exactly right. It's the difference between being like friends with your neighbors and just being neighbors. Right, that's right? Um, I'll say this now. I've mentioned them before, but you know, my neighbors are some of my closest friends now, and it's because I had this genuine curiosity, I wanted to get to know them. I dug below the surface level oh hey, how long have you lived here? Blah, blah, blah. You know that sort of small talk and found that you know, like with the neighbors next door, they're like my best friends now.

Julian 30:40

And you know the husband. He's into video games. We play video games at the same time. We want to play Dungeons and Dragons together. He's into Warhammer, like, there's all this mutual stuff. And even with his partner she's just as awesome and we have this great connection as well.

Julian 30:57

But it came with being curious about what it is they're about. What are their value systems, what is it? And if you build that with many other people, you'll find yourself in a situation where you, just you can always connect with someone, no matter what you need in that moment, right? Um, and so back to that point. You said walk into a room, like everyone likes you, fake it, it'll, it'll happen right. I really like that tip because it flips the whole thing on its head. Where you walk into a room first time in a brand new office and everyone's sitting at their desks, already focused doing stuff, and you kind of don't want to disrupt the status quo, you don't want to make any waves or annoy anyone. But if you walk in like you already know them and they already like you, they'll be like hey, how's it going? You know good morning, how are you doing, and stuff just flows naturally. So that's that's a great tip. I like that one.

Huy 31:49

That's cool yeah, I think I mean to add on to that too. I think when you walk in obviously you don't want to disrupt flow, things like that but I think when and it's not about trying to be friends with everybody on day one, but it's about like, okay, setting yourself at ease to where it's like you can event, like if I'm in a, if I walk into a room and my entire team's there and I've been working with them for two years, have a great rapport with all of them. You know I'm not going to go in there every day and then just like try to be the most rapport uh, you know, gregarious person out there every time, otherwise I might get fired.

Huy 32:28

Um, I think no, I'm kidding, no, I uh, I chose my year, I semi-retired and now back in free agency. For all you podcast listeners out there, hire this guy, give him a job.

Julian 32:45

Yeah, now, that's so. This. This is cool and you know you've brought on another question from me. Do you ever seek? Let's say, you walk into a room and you know and this is a common thing I see you might know two people say room of 10 people, you know two. Do you walk in and just stick in that comfort zone? Maybe I'm setting you up here, but you walk in, stick in the comfort zone. Maybe I'm setting you up here but you walk in, stick in the comfort zone of. Okay, I know these two people, I'm just going to hang with them.

Huy 33:10

Do I like these two people?

Julian 33:12

Let's say you like them. Yes, I know you don't like many people, but you like these two people. So do you gravitate just to them and ignore the other eight, or do you make an effort for the other eight?

Huy 33:26

And why other eight, or do you make an effort for the other eight and why this is what I do? This is in in that kind of scenario, especially if it's a social setting. I will go to the two people I know first. It kind of helps me warm up, but it also helps maybe the the room kind of see my dynamic. Like yeah, like when, like if you're gonna walk into a room where you know nobody, you know it's like okay, well, it's harder to develop that, that energy, and I truly believe, like if I'm with people who I consider friends, I have a certain, I give off a certain energy and I and I and that's usually my authentic self, and I'd like people to at least get a taste of that, uh, before they have to interact with it.

Julian 34:07

Yeah.

Huy 34:07

Yeah.

Julian 34:08

And that's fair.

Huy 34:09

I like that and I know you subscribe to that as well.

Huy 34:13

It's like people got to know what they're walking into when they talk to you or I. Yeah, and so that's my. I do it for myself, to warm up a little bit, but with the intention that I will eventually try to meet the other folks, just to help bring them in. And who knows, maybe some of these people are strangers in the room too. That's another good assumption. It's like these are maybe no other people in the room don't know anybody, and I've always been one to and those are the people I actually gravitate towards, more so than anything. It's like, oh, you want to feel like you belong here, or maybe you don't. And let me at least be curious to see if that's the case and if you're totally comfortable here, great, I'll move on.

Julian 34:58

That's a great tip and a great point, I think, for everyone, because we all know how it feels to be the person who walks in and not know anyone. But then we'll often be in many situations where we know most people and there's someone in that situation of not knowing anyone. And you can see them. You can see they're kind of tense. You can see the body language. You can see they're kind of sipping on a drink, something in their hands. They're looking around kind of aimlessly, you know, and hoping for that connection. Right, you can see that they either I just want to leave or get some sort of connection. So when I see that, I make the effort to just leave who I'm with and go to that person, say hi and either bring them into the group and whatever.

Huy 35:40

So I think that's what I thought of you the first time I met you. He, it looks like he really wants to go to dinner. Let's go. Let's go see if he wants to go get some ramen.

Julian 35:50

The problem was is that I was hoping for anyone but you?

Reaching Out Without Fear

Julian 35:53

you know what you got with what you get, but you know that that's a really great, great point. I'll tell this story very quickly because I know we're running low on time, but when we and I met in Seattle years and years ago, I was there on a business trip and we all went out his team, which is the communications team, mine was the employee experience team and we were all together at this pub and it was wonderful. We had a fantastic time. I think I sat across from you maybe, said a couple of words, a bit of small talk and stuff, but then everyone left. It was like 6 pm or something like that. It was quite early in the evening.

Huy 36:29

People had families to go home to no excuse.

Julian 36:32

I'm traveling from Sydney, you can leave your family for a night. But anyway, I digress. Hopefully none of them listen to this, I'm joking everyone. But they all went home. They had their own things to do and stuff to probably work to do, and families and friends and all these different commitments, right. And so I was alone. I was like it's 6pm, I'm alone. I'm on a business trip. I don't have to worry about the kids or anything. I want to go have dinner, I want to go do something. And I wasn't keen on going by myself.

Julian 36:58

And this guy was the one that was still there and he said yeah, why don't I take you out and we'll go do that stuff. So he, we, you could have gone home, you could have gone and done your own thing. Oh man, I could have had a grand old time, exactly Could have had a way better time than we did. But instead he saw that and he said yeah, of course you're here, you're on travel, I'll take you out, let's go do something different. And instead of just going to the same place, we went to a nice japanese place and sat there at the counter and watched them make our food. We had sake and we um, and then he dropped me. I don't even know where did you drop me back at the hotel, whatever it was drop me somewhere or I took an uber, I don't know, but anyway, yeah, whatever, yeah, it doesn't matter.

Julian 37:38

But that is what sparked the connection and now, three years later, we we've traveled together, we've uh, business trips together, we've done so many different you know now we've done a podcast together now we've done a podcast together, so that off the list, I think that's the thing for me on this is that you never know where that connection that you make with someone will take you and don't always make it with the intent that of this better blow up into the world's greatest friendship and stuff. But that genuine curiosity will pay off in different ways, you know, and I think that's a really good point.

Huy 38:11

But why not? I mean, even if it's not depends on how you define greatest friendship in the world, but, like some of my greatest relationships I've had, these are people I haven't seen since uh, and maybe years have gone by, but it doesn't diminish the quality of that connection just because in that moment, if you had gone back to sydney and we didn't continue working together, I I still would have said that that was a very special uh evening, connecting with a like-minded person who at the time, wanted to, you know, have that like being open to that but also being intentional about like, hey, yeah, I could go home, that'd be the easiest. That might be the, the, the, the path of least resistance, but sometimes things that are important.

Julian 38:57

Yep, and then to to go full circle you know with when it comes to travel. Then when you, even if you haven't seen these people in six years, seven years, maybe even more still, message them and say I'm coming to town, I would love to see you, and more often than not they're going to say, of course, I would love to see. It's been forever. You know, people want that connection. Um, they need that. Yeah, exactly, it's more than want, exactly, right? Actually it's quite funny. Out of the blue I messaged a friend from Oracle and that was 10 years ago now that I left Oracle almost, and this guy had taken me out when I went to Denver and I hadn't spoken, really hadn't spoken to him since, so it's been almost 10 years. I sent him a random text message. We were on a call last night catching up and he said man, you ever come back. You let me know, I'll you out again and I might be coming to sydney. If that happens, I want to come see you, meet the family and you know it's just these connections, man.

Julian 39:53

They're timeless. So, anyway, we could clearly talk for hours, and we we already do. You could talk for hours, for sure I could, I could, me, I would listen to me for hours, I would listen to you for hours.

Huy 40:04

That's great that's just a good that's the friend I you know, I I I can read the room and understand that you take up all the oxygen in it you're welcome because I save you the the social pressure of having to come having to be who everybody leans on. Yeah, I know it's a, it's a burden I carry look, you talk so much with other people.

Julian 40:29

I'm just saving you from having to do it here. You know, give, give the jaw a break in, all right. Yeah, that's how this works. Such a giving person, I appreciate it. Maybe you should be paying for this time, with me just throwing that out there.

Huy 40:42

So anyway, core tips for everyone listening is that the digression, like you always digress at some point in your podcast. Is that your digression moment? Can we do in post like some kind of alarm, like a Seth Meyers type of like digression? You can even use that audio if you want. You're welcome.

Julian 41:00

We'll take that and we'll cut it in. We'll use it for other things, for sure. That's right With an alarm some kind of siren Die crush it. We've got to turn this into like a joke podcast with lots of alarms and sounds and bells and whistles, so we'll wrap it up.

Huy 41:16

I just want to say I bet you might be- I'm not happy testing that.

Julian 41:23

So with this episode, if you have made it to this point, thank you for sticking with us. This was a long walk but it was a great conversation. I appreciate it. But to sum it up, you know the two key points from we here are show up and be curious. I think those are incredible tips that anyone can just absorb, keep at the back of their minds, right on their hands, before they go to a party, and it's going to enrich your life in ways you couldn't have even imagined. So I think those are amazing tips. Any parting words on that topic, cause I want to ask you about books in a second.

Wrap Up and Book Recommendation

Huy 41:56

Well, I would just add to those two tips an action to do like immediately following this podcast. Especially if you've listened to this point in the podcast, that means you might be kind of curious in this whole connection. Um thing, but go text somebody do the at&t commercial from, uh, what the 1980s? It's like go out and reach out, reach out and touch somebody. Uh, take some low-hanging fruit. Right after you finish it's like hey, I heard this podcast. Uh, they said they told me to do this thing. I just or or don't even explain anything, just say, hey, thinking about you, hope you're doing well.

Julian 42:31

But also just don't call them low hanging fruit. Hey, listen, I'm texting you because you're low hanging fruit.

Huy 42:37

Oh hey, low hanging fruit means you're the one that I want, the first.

Julian 42:40

Huh, all right. Oh, anyway, all right. Well, look we. This was actually wonderful conversation and such great tips. I really appreciate it. Just um, it's amazing, really really appreciate all your insights and experience that you're sharing here. Um and again, amen, anytime. Congratulations on the year of we. Um, we should have you on again soon ish. Maybe not too soon, but soon ish, because you just went down to texas for that, uh, blue origin launch. That's right, and I want to hear more about that experience so we can. There's stuff, some learnings and things you can share from there I will, uh, I will tease because you you mentioned books.

Huy 43:23

Uh, oh yeah, but I will tease. One of the astronauts on that flight was Amanda Wynn, who has just finished, who just finished, who just is going on her book tour of a book. She just her memoir that she just recently wrote. It's called Saving Five by Amanda Wynn. Check it out, it's on my Goodreads. Oh cool.

Julian 43:44

On my Pie Bite book. I was going to say we don't say the G word here. Get rid of Goodreads, Move to PieBite's books.

Huy 43:52

We say PB, it is on there, so check it out. I'm not even joking. Okay, good, hit me up?

Julian 43:57

Damn right, that's what I thought. So what do you aside from that book? That's great. So the question that I always ask everyone just before we leave is what are you reading? Is that actually what you're reading right now, or you're reading something else?

Huy 44:07

so the launch uh, again to timestamp your your podcast, but was just two days ago and I had actually finished it, uh, saving five on the way to the launch site. And so we tailgated side of the road about eight miles outside of the launch pad itself with 80 of Amanda's best friends and it was cool. It was supporting fans and family. It was amazing. But yes, that is what I was. Currently it's a quick read. I think it's like less than 250 pages. She, she does a really good job of weaving in her story. So it goes. She's a big science fiction nerd so she kind of weaves in some fantastical parts. She a lot of metaphor and she goes like alternates chapters from metaphor to to her real life story. And her real life story is exceptionally exceptional. You couldn't help but be proud to see her go up into space.

Julian 45:10

That's so cool man.

Huy 45:11

Especially knowing her memoir, and so it's like I'm glad I finished it before I got off the bus.

Julian 45:19

So just remind me I'm going to write this down now what was the name of the book? Saving Five, saving Five, number five, or F-I-V-e, f-i-v-e? Okay, I can spell, good, uh, oh, there you go. Amanda win, excellent, okay, I will. That will be in the show notes as well, so thank you for sharing that. That's right, um, and as I said on the podcast I recorded yesterday, I'm not reading anything new, so I I'm not even going to bother because I've got like 30 books I'm currently reading.

Huy 45:48

Oh, how dare you, how dare you ask me a book and then then just tell me straight to my face, and you can.

Julian 45:53

You can read. Let's see the other book, that before the coffee gets cold.

Huy 45:58

If you don't, if you don't want to, you know like learn about persevering and then you'll follow your dreams and then have your dreams come true. And you know like making these ultimate decisions after living such a traumatic life, you don't want to know how to struggle and then work through your struggles to see your dreams and go up into space. That's fine. That's fine. If you don't, I will I will buy your book.

Julian 46:24

I will buy the book and read it just for you. There you go, everyone. So you heard it here, you heard it here. I'm going to do it for him. All right, record it All right. When people decide they want to connect with you after hearing this and learn more about you and your journey, where can they go? Linkedin?

Huy 46:40

They can go LinkedIn. My LinkedIn handle is HH I, I guess for you uh, australian h h u y uh w I n. So it's a kind of a play on how people here in the united states pronounce my last name Huy Nguyen, same as Amanda Nguyen, no relation though. I'm not just plugging, she's not, she's not failing, yeah linkedin would have been Huy Nguyen anyway okay I like that, all right.

Julian 47:15

Well, we'll have the link to your linkedin in the description and everyone, please, you know, connect with me.

Huy 47:20

Why'd you make me go through all that then, if you're already, I just I didn't want to interrupt you.

Julian 47:23

I was being polite. You know I was letting you talk because I keep consuming all this oxygen, right? So, um, I thank you for joining me. Um, I'm going to roast you once we hit stop on this recording. Um. But thank you so much, man, I really appreciate you being here no, always a pleasure, julian.

Julian 47:41

Uh, have me back anytime excellent and, uh, everyone you know. Thank you for tuning in. As always, make sure if you're on YouTube, you subscribe. You know it helps the channel. All the things that you're used to hearing about subscribing, liking and stuff just helps us share the podcast further, that's all. And share this with anyone you know that might be thinking about. You know where they struggle with connection and might need that pickup, which is everybody, which is everyone right now. So share this with everyone you know. There you go, all right. Thanks, wee. Thanks everyone for listening. We will catch you in the next episode.

Julian 48:15

Hey, everyone, thanks for tuning into the PyBytes podcast. I really hope you enjoyed it. A quick message from me and Bob before you go To get the most out of your experience with PyBytes, including learning more Python, engaging with other developers, learning about our guests, discussing these podcast episodes, and much, much more, please join our community at pybytescircleso. The link is on the screen if you're watching this on YouTube and it's in the show notes for everyone else. When you join, make sure you introduce yourself. Engage with myself and it's in the show notes for everyone else. When you join, make sure you introduce yourself. Engage with myself and Bob and the many other developers in the community. It's one of the greatest things you can do to expand your knowledge and reach and network as a Python developer. We'll see you in the next episode and we will see you in the community.